Frustration

Frustration at the unanswered phone calls

Frustration at the habits we won’t change

Frustration at the flightiness of my own interests

Frustration at our affair and its emptiness

Frustration at the men I don’t want to sleep with

Frustration at the women I’m afraid to sleep with

Frustration at the one who won’t stop calling

Frustration at the one who fucked and left

Frustration at reducing women to an object

Frustration at forgetting how to be an object

Frustration at the grief I have not processed

Frustration at the arc of my own narrative

Frustration at the kiss with sharp teeth

Frustration at the kiss that lied

Frustration at feeling something, everything and nothing

(Frustration at this cycle repeating)

Frustration at ideas but not people

Frustration at the idea of myself

Frustration at all the questions

Frustration at being the only one who is asking them

Frustration at the colors of my mind

Frustration at red— the color of desire

Frustration at finding a love that is right

Frustration at knowing that this is not it

Frustration at the way I look at you

Frustration at the way I don’t look at me

Frustration at the mirrors that reflect our lives

Frustration at being one of them.